Time, Growth, and Love: The Chapters I Never Planned

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Perspective

Time feels strange sometimes. I’ll be 26 this November, and yet it still feels like I was just 20, wide-eyed, full of plans, thinking I had life more or less figured out. Back then, I told myself I’d get married at 27. "That number felt like a magical milestone: grown-up, stable, ready".

Now, 27 is just around the corner. And no, I’m not married yet. But what I’ve lived through in these years is far beyond anything I could have imagined.

In just six years, I moved from Indonesia to Thailand, completed my bachelor’s and my master’s, and adjusted to an entirely new culture and academic system. I stretched myself in ways the younger me could never have predicted. But the most surprising growth wasn’t in my studies or career, it was in love.

Over these years, I’ve been in three romantic relationships, each deeply different, each teaching me something no classroom could.

My first love, Rami, was a good friend from Australia. We met in 2018 and started dating in 2019. He gave me butterflies, made everything feel new, exciting, alive. We broke up in 2020, and I stayed single for four years. But even though it ended, I’m grateful. "He taught me how to dream boldly, how to believe in myself, and how to stay focused on my own goals".

In late 2023, gently encouraged by my mom and friends, I opened my heart again. Fraser, my second boyfriend from the UK, came into my life. That relationship lasted less than a year, ending in early 2024. Fraser was direct, hardworking, honest, and from him, "I learned the power of clarity: to speak my mind, to stand firm in my choices, and to work for what I want, even when it’s difficult".

Then came Lukasz, from Poland, the unexpected chapter I’m in now. We met in 2024, and this relationship has felt different from the start. He’s taught me patience, humility, and how to express myself freely. With him, I feel safe enough to slow down and simply be me, something I didn’t even realize I needed.

It’s funny, as an Indonesian, I’ve never dated anyone from Indonesia. "Each relationship has crossed cultures, continents, and perspectives". And each has shaped not only how I connect with others, but also how I understand myself, emotions, and communication.

So no, I may not be where I thought I’d be by now, not married, not fully "settled". But I’ve become someone I couldn’t have imagined back at 20. I’ve grown academically, yes. I’ve built a path in a foreign country. But more importantly, I’ve matured in how I value trust, connection, and love, not only with others, but with myself.

If the last six years passed this quickly, who knows what’s next? "One thing is certain: I’m no longer the girl I was at 20". And I’m proud of the woman I’m becoming.

Life unfolds in chapters we never plan, yet each shapes us in ways we couldn’t foresee. Time teaches patience, growth teaches resilience, and love teaches the heart’s endless capacity. Together, they write a story more beautiful than any blueprint.

Warm regards

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