PERSPECTIVE: From 20 to (almost) 26 in a blink!
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| Perspective |
Time is strange. I’ll be 26 this November, and it still feels like I was just 20 not too long ago, wide-eyed, full of plans, thinking I had life more or less figured out. Back then, I told myself I’d get married at 27. That number felt like some magical milestone: grown-up, stable, ready.
Now, 27 is just around the corner. And no, I’m not married yet. But I’ve lived through more than I ever imagined.
In just six years, I moved from Indonesia to Thailand and completed my bachelor’s, then my master’s. I adjusted to a whole new country, culture, and academic system. I stretched myself in ways the old me could never have planned. But what surprised me most wasn’t just how much I grew in education or career, it was how much I grew in love.
Over these years, I’ve been in three romantic relationships, each one deeply different, each one teaching me something I couldn’t have learned in a classroom.
My first ex-boyfriend was a good friend from Australia, Rami. We met in 2018 and started dating in 2019. He was my first love, the one who gave me butterflies, who made everything feel new and exciting. We broke up in 2020, and I stayed single for four years after that. But even though it ended, I’m grateful. He taught me how to dream big, how to believe in myself, and most importantly, how to stay focused on my goals.
In late 2023, with some gentle encouragement from my mom and friends, I opened my heart again. I started a short relationship with my second ex-boyfriend from the UK, Fraser. It lasted less than a year, ending in early 2024, but it came with its own lessons. He was direct, hardworking, and honest. From him, I learned how to be more straightforward, to say what I mean, and to work for what I want, even when it’s tough.
Then came the unexpected chapter I’m in now, with my current boyfriend, Lukasz, from Poland. We met in 2024, and this relationship has felt different from the beginning. He’s shown me how to be more expressive, more patient, and more humble. With him, I feel safe enough to slow down and just be myself, something I didn’t even realize I needed.
It’s funny, as an Indonesian, I’ve never actually dated anyone from Indonesia. My first boyfriend was Asian-Australian, and the others were from completely different cultural backgrounds. Each relationship brought not only personal insights but also new ways of understanding communication, culture, and emotional growth.
So no, I may not be where I thought I’d be by now, not married, not fully “settled”, but I’ve become someone I never imagined back then. I’ve grown academically, yes. I’ve built a path in a foreign country. But more than that, I’ve matured in how I value connection, trust, and love, not just with others but with myself.
If the last six years went by this fast, who knows what’s next? All I know is: I’m not the same girl I was at 20, and I’m proud of the woman I’m becoming.
Warm regards :b
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